Thursday, December 5, 2013

Hey, Hey Santa!

Maybe next year, if you don't mind...

Yo, Santa!  Guess what time of year it is?  Yeah, it's when all us good little boys and girls compile our list of demands to keep us happy on Christmas Day!  So, leaving no stone unturned regarding my own happiness and well-being, I thought I'd drop you a quick line again this year.

First off, though-- How are you and the little lady doing up there in the North Pole?  I bet that with all this global warming thing going on, you've got more beach front property these days.  Hey, mark my words, the re-sale value is going to be great!  Everybody loves a home on the beach.  Am I right?  And you know, I'm not blaming him or anything, but have you checked the thermal emissions from Rudolph's nose?  I bet that thing is an incandescent, and you know how hot they get.  Just sayin'.

And how's the elves?  Hey, don't tell them about those WalMart and Fast-Food workers going on strike and all.  We all know the elves love what they do, and would do it for free if they had to.

Oh- They do?  Nevermind...

Anyway, this year I thought I'd change things up a tad-- and not because I never get what I ask for, either-- and go with more manageable gifts for me.  Along with peace on earth and all that blah, blah, the first thing I'd like for Christmas is a better Eye.

You know-- an artists Eye like the one Richard Schmid uses.  I like the way he observes color and light, and I could stand to do that too in my paintings.  I mean, it seems like everyone else has got a good Eye, so I want one.  Dicky (all his close personal friends call him that) seems to see just what is needed and unerringly applies just the right touch.  This one has to be easy for the elves to make, and it'll fit nicely in my stocking.

OK, another thing I want is Taste.  No, not for food but in seeing what looks the most ascetically pleasing in my compositions.  And don't leave out the Design part from that.  Leaving out design is like "Battery's Not Included" and we all know what a pain-in-the-tush that is on Christmas morn!  Jacob Collins seems to have Taste in spades, so he doesn't need anymore this year. So, Taste and Design would look awesome under the tree!  And of course in my paintings too.

Lastly, (Because I don't want much-- which should rocket me to the top of the "Good Boy" list!) I have been using Ability for years and it's starting to wear thin, so this year I want Talent.  I read somewhere that Ability works best with Talent.  Who knew?  Everywhere I look I see enough Talent to make me want to puke.  Do the elves make that stuff in their spare time, or what?  Give me some!

So, in closing I wish you and the reindeer a safe flight.  I won't leave the fire going in the fireplace this year if that'll help.  And I don't want to brag, but I also have the world's best cookies.  So stop on by and try them!  And if you can't swing by Pittston Village, just send a drone, after all-- Amazon is going to.

Merry Christmas!

Most sincerely-- and I mean that--



No Know it all said...

That one had me laughing. I like your Christmas list but if you need more talent then I need to stop painting altogether! Because no one could give me enough talent just to live up to yours. And I mean that sincerely.

Merry Christmas to you and Ellen. May you get all the things you have asked for and create more amazing paintings in 2014.

Kevin Mizner said...

You can't fool me, Glen-- I know Santa's been dropping Talent in your stockings every year! Merry Christmas to you!