Monday, December 12, 2011

Santa's Little Helper

Hey Santa,

Kev here.  How's the Holidays treating you?  I don't have a doubt you and the elves are busier than, than-- well... Elves at Christmas!  I want to thank you for the gift you gave me last year.  With heating oil prices so high, that lump of coal sure came in handy!  If it's not too late, may I make a couple of suggestions for some wonderful gifts this year?

I know last year my letter to you was a little on the self-serving side.  It was full of gimme, gimme, gimme-- you know, give me the brushes that Sargent used, the paints that Rockwell used, the models that Vargas used.  Stuff like that.  But, Santa I've changed my tune.  This year my wish is for others to receive a great gift--


And may I add- preferably mine...

I'm sure that there are plenty of people who would love to have you slip a painting up their stocking this year.  And why not?  Art makes a great gift.  It's hand made, it's personal, and it leaves people feeling good just looking at it.  Yeah, even Koons' stuff.  I mean, wouldn't the sucker collector who actually paid money for basketballs in water have preferred you give it to him?  You don't have to be an elf to know I'm right about that one, right?

If you think about it, Santa, giving my paintings as gifts wouldn't even take up much room in the sleigh.  I don't paint that big, after all.  Hell, I'm not like the guy I saw on-line who painted this humongous painting-- I swear it was thirty feet tall and twenty feet wide.  Then he put a ten foot frame around it!  I think it was of a nude on a Victorian couch.  Anyway, my stuff would fit in your sack with no problem.  And look how happy the elves would be to lighten their load a little.  I'm not trying to put anybody out of work, mind you.  I'm sure the elves at the Chia Pet division would like a breather this year, don't you think?

So in closing Santa, I'm just saying to keep in mind that you can give non-elf made gifts too.  I mean, I always thought of myself as one of your elves in a way;  I make things that can be used as gifts, and that can be cherished for ever.  Or at least until the next garage sale.  So- Think Art! 

And think of us artists as Santa's little helpers!

See you in a couple weeks!

The best Good Boy ever,




martinealison said...

Joyeuses fêtes...

Susan Roux said...

I always thought your ears had a little point to them. Not quite Vulcan, but certainly a bit elfish...

Here's hoping you get a chance to be a real contributing elf! (gosh, me too for that matter) Happy sales and Merry Christmas to you and Ellen.