Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

Kevin here.  How you doin?  I bet you're really busy this time of year, huh?  You probably have the elves working overtime (hey, at least somebody's working, right?) busting out the toys and greasing up the sleigh.  I know it's only one night a year, but I bet the reindeer aren't nearly as cute from your point of view from the sled, if you catch my drift...  I am sure you noticed how extra good I've been this year.  It's no accident on my part, I can assure you.  So, I don't mean to bother you with more to do during this very busy season, but if you don't mind one more stop on the 24th, I have a few items I'd like for Christmas this year.

First, I'd like some new oil paints.  The ones I have are flat and dull.  I want the ones you made for Sorolla.  They are beautiful and bright, colorful and clean.  I need those.  I know it's been awhile since you made them, but I'm sure the elves still have the recipe.  Just have 'em hold up on making Chia Pets for awhile and get 'em to work on the paints.

I also need new brushes.  I really want the ones you gave John Singer Sargent.  NOT the Picasso ones!  I think the elves made those on a Friday before a long weekend, if you get what I'm saying...  Anyway, Sargents brushes made spectacular paintings with a bravura style that my brushes just don't do.  I don't care if they are flats, filberts or round, just make them work like old J.S.S's.  Thanks.

Oh, and I need canvas.  What I'm using now is two dimensional, so I need the three-dimensional ones like you bring to Jacob Collins.

And what kind of pencils did you bring to Andrew Wyeth?  I need a lot of those.  They had to be special- made from your best elves to work as well as they did for him.  I don't care if they are number two's, they are number one in my book!

One last item to ask for is a little more artistic ability for me.  The artists I mention in this letter have a boat load of artistic gifts.  And gifts come from Santa right?  I thought so.  So if you could slip some in my stocking, I'm sure I could use it.

I think that's about it.  Like I said, I don't want to burden you.  My stuff won't take up much space-- just ditch a few Wii's overboard, and you'll have plenty of room.  So, have a safe, speedy flight.  Hope the weather stays calm.  Lord knows how long Rudolph's nose will last, right?  Oh yeah, one more thing while you're at it:

Peace on Earth, goodwill toward Amen.  That should do it!

Sincerely,
Your best good boy,
Kevin Mizner